Simple [Sim-puhl]

Simple [Sim-puhl]
1. easy to understand, deal with, use, etc.
2. not elaborate or artificial; plain
3. not ornate or luxurious; unadorned

Monday, September 29, 2014

The Real Challenge of Motherhood

Through all my research and preparation before my son was born, I somehow never clued in to the real challenge of motherhood. I am not talking about long sleepless nights, soreness, bleeding, or piles of laundry and dishes waiting for a spare moment.
I am referring top the mommy wars of coarse. You know, the women who think they could better mother your child than you can. Some aren't even mothers themselves yet, and the ones who are mother's who, one would think they would be supportive, plague me with their own guilt/paranoia/judgements! They were a new mother once too, they should know better! We all have our own worries!
...Sigh, I was not prepared for all the negativity. I naively thought we mothers were on the same team!
So if you are a new mother, and like me you hear comments that say outright or imply, "You don't know what your doing; I would make a better mother than you. You're a terrible mother." or,"You haven't dressed your child warm enough, why aren't you feeding your child 'such an such? He/She has you wrapped around his/her little finger." Don't be discouraged! Feel empowered that you have a clean slate to do this parenting thing the way that is perfect for you and your own family.
These women, and sometimes men, don't see you researching every little pout, or the shade of the most recent poop, or the panic you feel when you check your baby's temperature while He/she sleeps. They can't possibly image the depth of love and care you have for your child and all the effort you make for your precious little one. What they see is a different approach than they have, or think they will, use. We all want to feel like we have the right answer. Just because you are doing things differently than someone else would or has, does not mean your method is wrong.
No one knows your child like you do, and some people may think they know all there is to know about child-rearing and infant-training and they will offer you advice and experience according to what they observe or don't observe in the limited contact they have with you and your child. But the fact remains, this is your child, and no one knows your baby as well as you do. Listen to your mother's instinct. Let these well-meaning people have their say, smile and nod as they reminisce about their own experience, make consideration for their concerns even. Then do what feels right in your own heart and gut for your own child. Any dismay or disapproval that person may feel if you don't follow their council is worth doing what's right for your baby's welfare. The grown ups will get over it.
Feel glad that these people, who may seem a nuisance at times, love and care about your baby too. So much so, they may forget at times that you have a greater love for your child than they could possibly imagine, and they are willing to occasionally risk offending you! It can be a positive experience depending on how you look at it.
In the end, feel confident in yourself to know what is best for your own sweet baby. You created and carried that child inside your own body, felt the reactions of that little person in your belly, and after the tramatic experience known as birth. You have watched that little person react, learn, develop and grow more than anyone else during his/her entire life. You have been through a lot together! Not to mention, God sends YOU inspiration for that child's well-being and your mother's intuition is customed to your specific child, not a percentile and not a family average! 
You are the mother, and Mama knows best! When you need help, you are the one to ask whom, what and when. You are the one who works with the specialists to find out what works for your specific child if necessary. 
Work hard and trust your feelings as a mother, because Heavenly Father trusts you to be the mother your baby needs. That should be good enough for anybody.
PS- That person who says your baby looks like so'n'so, or such'n'such, doesn't know what they're talking about! Babies grow and their features change daily. You and your spouse are probably the only people who can see what your baby's consistent features are.
 "All babies are the Sweetest and the Best."-Marrilla from Anne of Avonlea.

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